Marsha Aizumi
As most of my readers know, I write about things in my life or people that have touched my heart. This month is no exception. After almost 60 years, I received a voice message last month from a high school classmate saying, “Please call me back if you would like to.” He had read my bio in our high school class reunion booklet and had decided to give me a call since I was not able to attend the reunion. I wasn’t sure what prompted Steve to call me, but I was curious more than concerned. I remembered him to be a kind soul.
I came from a conservative white community, Temple City, Calif. I was the only Asian in our graduating class. After I listened to his message, I turned to my husband and said, “A former classmate from high school just left me a message on my phone. Did I ever tell you I had a crush on him?”
My husband in his nonchalant way just gave me a look of acknowledgement, didn’t say a word and turned back to the television program he was watching. As you can tell, he is not the jealous type.
I left the room to call this classmate back.
In high school, I was very invisible. Like many Japanese Americans, I just kept my head down and tried to get good grades, so I could get into a good college. My mother never put pressure on me to clean my room or do very many chores. She would just say, “All I want you to do is study hard, so you can go to college.”
In talking to Steve, I could feel that introvert part of me again arise. Even Steve remembers that quiet girl who tried not to stand out and shared, “If there was no name to your bio, I would have thought of 200 people before your name came up.” Sounds just like what most people would have thought of me … if they even knew my name.
Marsha on the drill team (Photo: Courtesy of Marsha Aizumi)
I tried out for cheerleader but didn’t win. I practiced being a flag girl because I thought that would be cool, but I was so short that the flag kept hitting the ground. I thought being a song girl with pom-poms would be fun, but when I looked at all the song girls that were trying out, they were all cute, blond and preppy.
I was short, wore braces, not outgoing and was a bit overweight. I figured I didn’t fit the mold of a song girl. I did end up making the drill team, but there were a variety of us … all shapes, sizes and backgrounds.
So, that was who I was in high school: invisible, studious, shy and not part the “popular” crowd. Steve, on the other hand, was the star quarterback of our very successful football team. He was cute, athletic and very smart. I am sure many girls had a crush on him besides me.
Steve the football star (Photo: Courtesy of Marsha Aizumi)
When I called him back, our conversation started off a bit slow, but then as Steve continued to speak, emotion rose up into his voice, and he couldn’t talk … all he could get out was how proud he was of me. In a follow-up email, he said, “Let me try again to say what I blubbered about yesterday: I’m so proud of you for being the hero I’d hope to be in a life-challenging, life-changing situation.”
I think the reason that this connection has touched me so deeply is because I realize in hindsight that it doesn’t matter who I was in high school or what I did or what honors I received. It only matters that I found what brought out the passion in me, and I pursued it with my whole heart.
Not everyone wants to be an activist. Not everyone wants to write a book or speak or organize, like I have chosen to do. And sometimes, I don’t even know how I stepped onto this path of activism. But this work is something that is a part of me and brings me great joy.
Yet, there are moments even today when I am faced with huge challenges, and I start to feel like that shy, invisible high school girl and want to shrink away. Then as if an angel understands that I need a little bit more confidence and courage, she sends me, Steve, who shows me how far I have come and how much more I can do…
(I want to give credit to I2I (Invisible 2 Invincible), an LGBTQ+ organization in Chicago who inspired the title of this article.)
Marsha Aizumi is an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and author of the book “Two Spirits, One Heart: A Mother, Her Transgender Son and Their Journey to Love and Acceptance.”
